Notes from the Continuum

Many people have asked me, "What is this Male Space time Continuum that you refer to?

This article, which appeared on a dating website, has another name for it: Predictable male Withdrawal:

Why a Man Won’t Emotionally Commit

One of the most common situations women ask me about is what I call Predictable Male Withdrawal. If you’ve had any experience with men and dating, then you already know what this is. I’ll take a second to explain exactly what this is and why it’s important…

Regarding emotional commitment, I am not terribly interested in that, not at this juncture anyway. However, we all want to know: when men (and women) withdraw (read: vanish), where do they go?

Where do they go when they vanish, never to be seen or heard from again? You had a great date and talked of meeting again. You made plans to meet but he never showed up, called or emailed. You call his cell and get no answer. He's vanished without a trace, someplace where cell phones, email or Blackberry cannot reach. Obviously, your feelings are hurt and you feel insulted- perhaps you send an email saying something like "blow me, you dickwad". He went somewhere, but where?

The Male Space Time Continuum. Like the Wizard of Oz, it's very good, but very mysterious.

This usually happens AFTER:

-they have satisfying sex and an orgasm with you

-you tell them you love them

-you tell them you like them

-you tell them you want to go out sometime

Of course, it must be a pleasant environment, if so many men go there. More pleasant than being with you. And it is. The Continuum is a giant basement with a huge bar, populated by men who walk around in boxers and t-shirts (the latter if it's winter or they want to dress up), complete with wide screen TV that receives sports channels, porn and Man TV, and booze is served 24/7 by deaf-mute, topless Hooters girls.

I dated a really nice guy who described a previous girlfriend's escape to the continuum. She vanished when SHE thought that she was getting too attached to HIM. Yes, women do vanish into the continuum- it's not sex-segregated. In fact, it's tempting for me, as I'd love the widescreen TV and sports channels. I can see myself vanishing if I were faced with a guy who, say, told me how beautiful I would look pregnant or suggested that I stop using my laundry basket as extra storage space. But the Continuum is mainly populated by those Predictable Withdrawers, alas…and women who aren't deaf mute beer servers are outnumbered and outshouted.

And scattered throughout the continuum are huge pile of those mismatched socks, sent there by dryers all over the world. So you know they aren't going to waste, as the men who live there make good use of them so they don’t' go barefoot.