workers of the world

I recently returned to the bagel shop where I came to the aid of a clerk who was being berated by a nitpicking harridan. The same clerk was working that day and when I asked about the mean lady, told me she had not returned.

In the spirit of labor day, I recall my own subterfuge against time wasters and the idle rich, whom I had to face on a daily basis at a fitness centre where I worked a couple of years ago. Worst of all the over privileged members were the Women with Nothing to Do. One of them, described as a Prominent Member of the Community, was someone I knew from the neighborhood; usually I would see her at the grocery store with her three homely, spoiled kids.

She probably didn't receive enough attention from them, and so insisted on instant attention from everyone else: "You're helping him before ME?" Uh, yes, since he was in front of you. Another time, she asked me if I could get someone to move the basketball net before a class in the gym.

I told her I'd get right on it. "Can you do it NOW?" Uh, what's the magic word? I picked up the phone. "Sure, right away." When she disappeared into the gym, I put the phone down. When she came back a few minutes later to inquire, my response: "They're on their way!"

There was another woman we called CatWoman. She lived with about 200 cats and would regale whoever was working at the Spa with endless monologues about them. Then she would talk about anything else that came to mind, usually without drawing breath, while the receptionist pretended to listen.

One of the girls who worked there told me how CatWoman drove her nuts with her monologues. At that age, you haven't developed those skills for getting rid of people who annoy you.

Me: Tell her 'hey, you'll miss your workout'.
Receptionist: That doesn't work!
Me: tell her you have to do the vacuuming, then start doing it.
Receptionist: But we already did the vacuuming.
Me: Yeah, but she doesn't know that.
Receptionist: Oh yeah.

Of course, the members' happiness and satisfaction were ALWAYS paramount.