Sunday, August 16, 2009

Up the down staircase

This time, it's my sister's turn. She was not thrilled to find out that the new neighbors downstairs from her would be a woman and her two young kids, who would be outside yelling in the yard and screaming in the driveway.

It's the opposite. The two kids (who she describes as very cute) are in the house ALL DAY, watching TV and playing video games or just running up and down. In the middle of summer. They apparently have rotten teeth as well. I see diabetes and obesity in their future.

However, I told her she was lucky that they aren't upstairs from her, which was my case a few years ago, when a woman moved in upstairs from us with her boyfriend and young son. It was obvious what her life plan was: find a guy, live off him and sit outside all summer getting a tan. While her poor kid was in the house all day,in the middle of summer, bouncing off the walls. I felt sorry for the kid, who seemed to have no friends, never saw his father and had nowhere to go or nothing to do, and had a mother with the IQ of a houseplant.

I felt equally sorry for her boyfriend, who seemed to have gotten hornswoggled. I think she told him the same story she told our landlord: that the little boy came to visit her but lived with the father. Uhh...no. I don't think he ever saw the father. The Dingbat left right after, presumably for a new apartment and to find a new boyfriend to support her lifestyle.

Some people, when I've related this anecdote, asked, "Why didn't you do something? it sounds like that kid was neglected." Do what- an intervention? "Pardon me but your kid is being neglected." Or "why didn't you offer to spend time with the kid." People think life is a TV show like Judging Amy. Duh... maybe the MOTHER should spend time with the kid- or try to put some effort into finding him something to do?

Of course, if there was serious trouble, I'd call social services in a minute. Otherwise, there is little you can do for the shitty parents of the world. Just pray they don't move in upstairs from you.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

New Additions to the Marlexicon

Saffy Friends: Inspired by Saffy, the sarcastic daughter of Edina in AbFab who had numerous nerdy, multi-cultural friends. Refers to like persons or people, male or female. Example: "I saw her walking down the street with her SaffyFriends."

Brookhaven: The Westmount Y, or any place frequented by depressed, emaciated anorexics. From Brookhaven, the famous eating disorder clinic.

Schindler's Mother: A specific type of mother that seems to inhabit the Westmount area, grim, anal retentive, relentlessly chewing out their kids for some petty infraction. I recently saw one of them grimly tutoring her poor son ( in the women's locker room, which he was way too old for) then dragging him out by one arm like he was a sack of potatoes. I saw another ragging her teenage daughter for taking the wrong shopping cart at Metro.